We make our choices and feel they are the best. Hard times come and we begin to doubt those choices. As I was passing by a beautiful rose garden on my morning walk yesterday, God reminded me that He never promised us that life was going to be a bed of roses, but what He did promise was to give us the Rose to walk with us on this journey of Life. And when The Rose walks with us, our life is sweet smelling, a fragrance unto Him, an aroma like none other.
I hear you speak and oh how I wish I were ignorant of your voice. Not that I don’t love you, but your requests are so uncomfortable and I am faced with the choice. Do I ignore what I hear or obey because it’s the only way I can really show my love, and it’s also stepping over the barrier to my destiny. If I truly want to walk in the power of my calling I must let go of my fear of man, strip off my pride and murder my religious spirit.
So here and now before the world and in front of the God who loves me, I declare.. Here am I… Send me.
Cycles in life sometimes cause us to fall asleep, all is quiet, routine is dull and we lose the hope and expectation of greater things. We forget that God never sleeps and that He is alive and well and is preparing a path while we are dull with apathy. The beauty of it all is that He will never be content to leave us in our zombie like comatose.. Nope He absolutely loves us to much to ever leave us there. And suddenly we are caught in a torrent we have no way of escaping, it slaps us to the ground and bowls us over like a freight train. And to our surprise we once again find ourself alive.
Spoken or unspoken, every wish, every dream and every desire will be answered by the One who loves us. His mercies are new every morning and He says delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Yes, he knows your desires and He will answer every one of your hearts cry.
It’s been a week since my last post and as I’m sitting here in the quietness of solitude, no T.V, no computer, and no stereo, just complete aloneness, I wonder what the heck am I doing? I have left a perfectly beautiful house and a husband who was perfectly willing to provide for my every need. Every need, except the need of companionship, and the need for a true emotional connection. The house was not a home and money will never satisfy an empty heart. So here I am alone and perfectly content to be alone. Somehow this aloneness is feels like a gift, yet the aloneness in marriage is a debilitating curse.. And for now I have broken free. I pray not many of you are in the grip of that curse. And if you are, know this, you are not alone.
It’s me, I’m here alone and nothing but the hum of the refrigerator do I hear. It’s been a long road getting to this point. I’m very relieved, very tired and very excited to begin this new journey. It’s all about the journey, isn’t it? And I almost missed it.. But almost doesn’t count. I’m here and plan on enjoying every moment from here on out. My first night in the apartment and all I can think about is laying my head on that pillow. Good night to you. Will talk to you later.
Little Sparrow 